“Letting go of things I cannot control” is one of the concepts I have struggled with the most. These words often echo in my mind as I navigate the busy, often chaotic, rhythm of my life as a mother. The demands of family life can feel overwhelming. From loud noises and multiple screens to the constant bustle of little ones, it’s easy to feel lost in the noise. At times, I’ve found myself waiting for someone—usually my husband—to step in and rescue me. I yearn for a break, a moment to breathe. But I’ve come to realize that expecting someone else to solve my problems isn’t sustainable. These challenges are part of my daily life, and it’s ultimately my responsibility to face them.

That said, it’s also essential to recognize that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s an act of surrendering. And surrendering doesn’t mean giving up. It means embracing vulnerability and giving myself permission to lean on others when I need support. By seeking help in a proactive way, rather than waiting until I’m at my wits’ end, I can face the challenges of motherhood with more intention and less guilt. I can use my free time more effectively, feeling refreshed instead of depleted, and be fully present with my kids when I’m with them.

This shift in mindset has made a profound difference in my life. Instead of waiting for others to save me, I now focus on embracing self-compassion, mindfulness, and developing habits that help me show up as the best version of myself. And though these habits may seem small, they have a compounding effect over time, building momentum and creating significant improvements in my life.

The Importance of Letting Go: Embracing Imperfection

As a mother, I’ve often struggled with perfectionism. I have high standards for myself—my home, my parenting, my health. However, I’ve learned that perfectionism only adds stress and disappointment to my life. John Purkiss, in his book The Power of Letting Go, emphasizes how essential it is to release the need for control in order to cultivate inner peace. He offers a powerful perspective on surrender, encouraging us to let go of the past, our ego, and unrealistic expectations. By accepting every part of who we are—both the kind and unkind moments—we liberate ourselves from the pressure to be flawless. This acceptance opens the door to growth, freedom, and ultimately, peace.

For me, this realization has been transformative. I no longer expect perfection from myself, my children, or my home. Instead, I acknowledge the challenges and messiness of life, accepting that things won’t always be “just right.” By releasing control over the outcome, I allow myself to respond thoughtfully to whatever arises, instead of reacting impulsively in frustration or anger. This small change in perspective has made it easier to navigate the challenges of daily life with calmness and clarity.

Mindfulness: Living with Intention

Mindfulness is another powerful tool that has helped me manage stress and navigate the busyness of motherhood. Chris Bailey, in his book How to Train Your Mind, explores the science of mindfulness and how it can transform our ability to live intentionally. Mindfulness is simply the practice of being present—fully aware of the current moment, without distraction or judgment. This practice has allowed me to stop reacting to situations on autopilot and instead choose how I respond.

The beauty of mindfulness is that it enhances every area of our lives. It helps us slow down and savor the small moments, whether it’s reading a story with our kids, sipping a warm cup of tea, or simply enjoying the quiet after they’ve gone to bed. The small habit of taking a few minutes each day to center myself has allowed me to be more present with my children and more intentional with how I spend my time. It’s in these moments of mindfulness that I find clarity and balance, even amidst the chaos.

One of the most powerful benefits of mindfulness is its ability to improve our emotional well-being. Research shows that regular mindfulness practice can lower stress levels, reduce anxiety, and even improve physical health. Mindfulness helps us become more aware of our thoughts, allowing us to break free from negative patterns and focus on what truly matters.

I’ve also learned that even brief moments of mindfulness can have a profound impact. Chris Bailey suggests that for every minute spent meditating, we gain up to nine minutes of heightened presence throughout the day. This means that even a short daily practice can ripple through our lives, amplifying our sense of presence and calmness. The key is consistency, not perfection.

The Power of Small, Consistent Habits

When I think about how to make meaningful changes in my life, I often turn to the concept of small, intentional actions. The beauty of small habits lies in their ability to compound over time. These seemingly minor actions, repeated consistently, can lead to significant changes. This idea is at the heart of James Clear’s book Atomic Habits, where he explains the power of incremental progress. Small habits, when practiced daily, add up. Over time, they build momentum, creating a snowball effect that drives real change.

This concept of compounding applies not just to individual habits, but to the way different habits work together. For example, incorporating mindfulness into my daily routine has made it easier to establish other healthy habits, like regular exercise, eating well, and getting enough rest. When one small habit is established, it creates a foundation for others to grow.

In my own life, I’ve noticed that when I’m consistent with one small habit—such as meditating for five minutes in the morning—it sets the tone for the rest of the day. It’s easier to make healthier food choices, engage with my kids more thoughtfully, and manage stress more effectively. Each small habit reinforces the others, creating a positive feedback loop. This is the power of habits—when they work together, they amplify each other.

Why Small Habits Matter: The Science Behind the Compounding Effect

The compounding effect of habits is backed by research in the field of behavioral psychology. Charles Duhigg, in his book The Power of Habit, explains how habits work in a cycle: cue, routine, and reward. Over time, as we repeat certain behaviors, they become ingrained in our routine. The more we repeat a habit, the more automatic it becomes, freeing up mental energy for other tasks.

Research also suggests that small, positive habits can influence our overall well-being. For instance, studies have shown that regular exercise boosts mood, improves sleep, and enhances mental clarity. Similarly, practicing mindfulness has been linked to better emotional regulation, increased focus, and improved overall health. When these habits are practiced consistently, they compound over time, leading to long-term benefits that impact every area of life.

Surrendering to the Process

As I continue to build small, consistent habits into my life, I’ve learned the importance of surrendering to the process. Just as John Purkiss encourages us to let go of the need for control, I’ve found that surrendering to the flow of life—and to my own imperfections—has allowed me to enjoy the journey rather than stress about the destination. Surrendering isn’t about giving up; it’s about accepting that change takes time and that progress happens in small, steady increments.

In practice, this means showing up every day—even when it’s hard. It means being kind to myself when I don’t get it “right.” It means acknowledging that some days will be messier than others, but that’s okay. What matters is the commitment to keep going, no matter how small the steps may seem. The more I embrace this mindset, the more I experience growth and transformation in my life.

Taking Action Toward Growth

Ultimately, living with intention means taking action—small action, consistently. Whether it’s practicing mindfulness for five minutes a day, journaling your thoughts, or simply taking a few deep breaths during stressful moments, these small actions add up. They create a foundation for a more mindful, intentional life. And while it’s easy to get caught up in the rush of daily responsibilities, it’s important to remember that our well-being is worth investing in.

By focusing on self-compassion, mindfulness, and small, intentional habits, I’m slowly but surely moving closer to the life I want to live. And I believe you can too. We all have the power to create meaningful change, one small habit at a time.

Final Thoughts

As mothers, we often feel the weight of responsibility on our shoulders. But it’s important to remember that we don’t have to do it all alone. Asking for help, embracing imperfection, and taking small, consistent actions can lead to profound changes in our lives. By making mindfulness and healthy habits a priority, we create the space for personal growth, emotional balance, and a deeper connection to ourselves and our families. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress, one small step at a time.

Citations

1. Purkiss, John. The Power of Letting Go.
2. Bailey, Chris. How to Train Your Mind.
3. Clear, James. Atomic Habits.
4. Duhigg, Charles. The Power of Habit.